Am I Doing Enough as a Parent of a Neurodiverse Child?- A Heartfelt Conversation with Author and Mother Susanna Peace Lovell

Parenting a neurodivergent child comes with profound joys—and deep emotional complexity. From celebrating our children's incredible gifts to navigating the challenges that come with an ADHD, autism, or other diagnosis, we often find ourselves walking a tightrope of emotions. If you’ve ever wondered how to support your neurodivergent child without drowning in guilt, self-doubt, or the need to explain yourself to others—you are not alone.

In this blog, inspired by a heartfelt conversation with Susanna Peace Lovell, certified life coach and author of Your True Self Is Enough, we’re diving deep into the emotions, questions, and quiet courage it takes to parent a child who experiences the world differently.

The Emotional Weight of a Diagnosis

When parents receive a diagnosis for their child—whether it's autism, ADHD, or a combination of learning differences—one of the first responses they often get from others is, “I’m so sorry.” While these words are usually well-intentioned, they can feel diminishing. Why? Because they reinforce a belief that something is wrong, rather than simply different.

Let’s Redefine What a Diagnosis Means

A diagnosis is not a life sentence. It’s not a label to limit your child—it’s a tool to better understand how their brain works, so they can receive the support, accommodations, and encouragement they need to thrive.

Every child is unique. Even within the same diagnosis, no two children will present exactly the same. What one autistic child experiences or expresses may be completely different from another. This is why we must treat the child, not the diagnosis. Labels are for services. Relationships are for people.

The Invisible Load Parents Carry

The emotional labor of advocating, educating others, and staying strong for your child is real. Parents often feel like they need to become instant experts, master negotiators in IEP meetings, and full-time emotional regulators for their child, their family, and themselves.

And while we do our best to “hold it all together,” guilt and self-doubt creep in. “Am I doing enough? Am I getting it right? Why do I feel so alone?”

To that, Susanna offers this gentle reminder: “Your true self is enough.”

It’s a phrase her own daughter once said, and it became the title of her book—a mantra not just for neurodivergent kids, but for every parent who’s doing their best in the midst of uncertainty.

How to Recenter: From Guilt to Grace

If you’re a parent navigating the world of neurodiversity, here are a few ways to ground yourself:

1. Honor Your Child’s Strengths

Instead of focusing solely on deficits, recognize where your child shines. Maybe they’re an incredible writer, like Susanna’s daughter. Maybe they have an eye for patterns, a wild imagination, or a deep empathy that moves people. Celebrate these gifts and weave them into their daily life.

2. Respond, Don’t React

When someone says something insensitive or misinformed—like “I’m so sorry”—take a breath. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. If it feels right, use it as a teaching moment. If not, know that protecting your peace is also an act of advocacy.

3. Seek Out Shame-Free Community

Surround yourself with people who “get it.” Whether that’s an online group, a support circle, or a compassionate educator, find community that doesn’t make you feel like you have to shrink your story.

4. Embrace the Healing Opportunity

Yes, raising a neurodivergent child is hard—but it can also be deeply healing. As Susanna put it, “By treating the child, not the diagnosis, you're really helping the entire family heal.”

What We Hope Every Parent Learns

At the core of everything Susanna teaches is this truth: “My true self is enough.”

This isn’t just a quote—it’s a life-affirming philosophy. When we model self-acceptance, we teach our children to do the same. When we show up as ourselves—messy, resilient, and real—we give our kids permission to do the same.

If you’ve ever needed to hibernate, cry in your car after an IEP meeting, or second-guess how you’re advocating for your child, you’re human. And you’re doing better than you think.

Stay connected. Ask for help. Know that you are not alone.

If you’re looking for compassionate support, you can connect with Susanna Peace Lovell for life coaching or connect with us at WeThrive Learning to learn how we support neurodiverse learners with personalized, one-to-one education.

Your child is enough. You are enough. And together we can thrive.

Looking for more strengths-based strategies to support your neurodivergent child? Explore more from the We Thrive Learning community or join with other parents of neurodivergent students in our Facebook Group “Parent Your ADHD Child with Confidence”